Friday, August 31, 2007

Heavy Loads

Superman and I were prepared to go Jalan Bahar. I called Bunsen to confirm the meeting time and place. He told me he was not prepared to meet us as I did not confirm with the meeting with him. But I did! How on earth does he want me to confirm? He wants me to send him a lawyer letter meh. Superman flew back home as his contractors had arrived at his house to make a display cabinet. I drove to a pet shop at Upper Serangoon Road. I need to get a mouth leash for Rascal because it couldn't shut its mouth yesterday. It woke my neighbours up. One of them stared angrily at me from the balcony. Really embarrassed. I then went to collect wood from Superman's contractor. His worker made a grave mistake. He brought me to his supplier to collect the items that we bought. Won't get wood from him next time liao lol. Reached our customer's office. He wanted me to carry the materials to his office on the third floor. 3 x 4' x 8' plywood + 20 assorted pieces of wood. I almost died of exhaustion. Never carried so much heavy loads since army days. Thank God that I used to be a combat engineer.

Posted by Benjamin at 11:39 PM

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Bang

Rascal has learnt a new command! Point a 'gun' at its face, say 'bang' and it will 'drop dead' on the floor. Cool right. I have found a new tool to train him: a cane! It works on the 'fear factor'. The problem is, it still does what it does, except that it will go into hiding. It does its business at every possible spot in the house (including my bed), digs my trash bin for food (it found itself a big juicy bone) and barks at every person that enters (or doesn't enter) my house. But the minute it hops towards you and wags its extremely short tail (sometimes it 'wags' its butt instead), my heart softens. No wonder they survive evolution.

Posted by Benjamin at 1:06 AM

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Berlinda Died

Berlinda fell down from the first floor to B1. She laid on the floor half-dead. After I took the picture, I left the house for work. My sister-in-law called me shortly after that. She died.

Posted by Benjamin at 12:25 PM

Zombie

12 am. At McDonald's. Giving my last shot at the essay. 无敌 and No Big were studying for their examinations. I got a splitting headache. I wanted to give up on the essay. But I chose to press on. I decided that this is going to be my last degree for my entire life. Schooling is no fun. I want to choose what to learn at my own pace. 4 am. I slept a while. 5 am. When I woke up 无敌 and No Big were almost dead le. No Big wrote me a list of useful points for my essay. She understood the guidelines of the essay in 5 minutes. I spent a week to analyse the question and I still couldn't get to the point. Really pathetic de. 6 am. We ordered breakfast. I wasn't in the mood to talk. 7 am. 无敌 and No Big left for home. I hit furiously at my laptop as time continued to fly mercilessly. 9 am. I drove to OCBC building to meet Superman and Wonder Woman. He signed us up for a tutorial on Velocity. I felt like a zombie as the meeting dragged on. I was supposed to have tuition with Dying Ant, Rubber Biakky and Weeping Mann. Thank God they called me last minute to cancel it. Dying Ant said that they had to study for a literature test. Sponge Box then called me and asked me out for lunch at Vivocity. It has been a long time since we went out for lunch. The time was right. He shared with me his new business plan: make and sell crystals ornaments. A crystal ornament smaller than the size of a palm is worth S$48. Unbelievable.

Posted by Benjamin at 12:55 AM

Sunday, August 19, 2007

Taming Rascal

My mum called me twice in the afternoon and complained to me about Rascal. The first time she called, she said that Rascal was biting every person it sees, including my baby nephew Darren. It even bit my brother's dogs, Jungle and Minnie. I told her that Rascal can be trained and all it needs is time. But she insisted that Rascal is incorrigible. The call ended suddenly when Rascal jumped onto the sofa and attempted to bite her. What a 'cooperative' dog. She called me a second time and screamed about how Rascal left big lumps of fur in the living room and how she was worried that it might have bitten an animal to death. The more I listened, the more worried I was. I felt frustrated as I was helpless and stuck at tuition. I finished a couple of tuition before I flew home at the speed of light. The front door creaked opened and I switched on the lights. Indeed, lumps of fur scattered all around the living room. Rascal 'murdered' the fake fox skin that I hung behind my bedroom door! It ran up to me excitedly. I slapped its backside hard and shouted 'back', which means to retreat to its bed. It disobeyed my command and ran around the house like a mad dog. I ran after it like a mad man. It took shelter behind the display cabinet and growled angrily at me. "This dog is so wild," I thought to myself. I was so mad by its misbehaviour that I dragged it by the collar and slapped its backside several times. I pointed at its nose and repeated my command. It ran back to the same spot and growled again. We replayed this scene over and over again until it unwillingly dragged itself back to its bed. When I walked towards it, it growled silently and attempted to bite me. I was so mad that I hold its neck down and slapped its backside several times. It tried to retaliate, but its attempts were futile. Finally it kept its head down and laid motionlessly on the ground. I guess this is what it means to 'tame a dog'. Like what its 'dad' has said, you have to show the dog whose the boss.

Posted by Benjamin at 11:27 PM

Friday, August 17, 2007

Roll Over

I taught Rascal a new command called 'roll over'. Power de leh. This trick can definitely make your day. I was so happy that I gave it more munchies than it could imagine or think of. However, it did its small and big businesses at different spots again. Smacked it real hard. It didn't seem to like me anymore. It didn't ran after me when I left the house. Heck. I must stand firm in my discipline. Once it knows where its 'toilet' is, I will not lay a hand on it again. I left the house as I was supposed to meet Superman at Pop Spots' warehouse at Pasir Panjang Distripark. Got lost and drove to Alexandra Distripark instead. Sianz. A big warehouse with a huge range it items that we can sell. Wow. This will bring our company to the next level. A friendly auntie brought us around the warehouse. Each time we asked for the specifications or pricing of an item, she would say," No, don't ask me! I never study in school like you. You should know better than me!" She smelled real bad though. Superman asked me twice where the smell came from. I chose to keep the answer to myself for his own good. After that, I brought Superman to another wholesaler of stationaries called Merlion. Superman was excited to find the shop because this company has what he was looking for: rubber bands! After we took our lunch, I drove to NUS and borrowed Leen Pork's student card to access the library. I realised that NUS never fails to create an atmosphere that inspire me with ideas to write my essays. How come I realise it only after I left school?

Posted by Benjamin at 3:49 PM

Rascal's 'Parents'

Rascal used to stay in a three-storey bungalow owned by his 'grandfather'. It used to run up and down the house in order to get his adrenaline rush. It learns the 'sit' and 'fetch' commands from his 'dad'. His 'dad' is the only son. He is studying engineering in NTU. The reason why he cannot keep Rascal is because his dad is afraid of dogs. Besides, he is going for an internship program in Germany for a year. Its 'mum' lives in a condominium. Lots of space for Rascal to run about in the garden. But its 'grandmother' is a clean freak. You can imagine her freaking out when Rascal sheds its fur and does its business in every spot of the house while she works. Its 'mum' is contemplating whether to rent a room for Rascal and herself to stay once she starts working. I cannot understand why anyone will leave their family for a dog. When they came to visit Rascal today, they were simply thrilled. They went berserk when I showed them the 'come here', 'shake hand' and 'lie down' commands. Never seen Rascal doing any of those things for them. When they drove off with their car, Rascal was whining exactly like the first day when it left its 'parents'. I got a little jealous. Even so, I told myself again that I will return Rascal to them if they want it back. After all, it's their 'son'.

Posted by Benjamin at 12:53 AM

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Killing Me Softly With Homework

Sitting outside Hon Sui Sen Memorial Library @ NUS. The library has set up a barrier that allows entry only by student pass. Oh man. I cannot sneak in anymore. I have an assignment to be completed by next Tuesday.

This is my assessment task 1A:
Identification of a researchable issue or problem derived from a specific workplace or professional interest. Discussion of strategies used in gathering information for a literature search focusing on the specific problem or issue you have chosen

I realise only now what I'm supposed to write. Praying hard that it is not too late and I can complete it before the deadline. Studying is killing me. Especially when you have no time to do it. Every minute I put into it is like a thorn in the flesh. Frustrating.

Posted by Benjamin at 3:14 PM

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Bokia

This phrase makes sense to me. Totally. Hit my funny bone.
(For non-Hokkien-speaking people, 'bo kia' = no child.)

Posted by Benjamin at 10:00 PM

Homework

June is harvest time. June holidays. Mid-year examinations for JC students are just round the corner. My students are desperate to 'buy insurance' from me, meaning buy more tuition time. It happened that my MEd classes clashed with those time. I skipped it as usual, thinking that I can still complete my assignments without them. I realised only recently that I have to complete, present and submit a poster during lesson time. I didn't attend the lessons, let alone submit anything at all. I desperately called Dawn Patrick , my new unit coordinator for help. She told me to submit a power point presentation instead. I pray that God will make a way for me.

Posted by Benjamin at 3:17 PM

Calling It A Day For Rascal

Rascal is always on my mind. When I reached home, it jumped excitedly for attention. I revised its response to clicks. Improving, but worked only when there's food. I took it downstairs for a walk. I wanted it to sit down whenever I stopped. Threw it a snack when it did the trick. It ran around the garden and sniffed hard at any suspicious item on the floor. I revised its response to clicks again. He walked eagerly to the spot where I clicked my hand. I found a tennis ball at the playground. We went back home and played fetch using its favourite soft toy Beanie and the new tennis ball. It tugged ferociously at Beanie as though it wanted to tear it apart. It speeded around the house for the tennis ball and spinned desperately on the spot as the ball rolled and turned. 2:30 am. It never seems to lose its enthusiasm. All of a sudden it ran to his drinking bowl and carried it to me. Smart animal. I was amazed by its wit. He relished it at such a speed I almost thought the water was not there in the first place. 2:45 am. Snores emerged from the dead beat dog who really looked dead by now. I carried it to its bed. It climbed out and laid down beside me. It just want to stay by my side. How sweet. 3:15 am. Time flies. He took so much attention from me. I seldom give so much time to anybody. What a amazing creature.

Posted by Benjamin at 2:51 AM

Opportunity Is Often Disguised As A Problem

I finished my delivery by 1:30 pm. I stopped by the road and sent an email to Belle. Then I drove to the Singapore Immigration & Checkpoints Authority (ICA) building to pick up Waiter. Along the road I shared what I learn during Dr. A. R. Bernard's Business Breakthrough Dinner and my own experiences in the marketplace. I heard from him that Rejoyce is interested in printing T-shirts. A few days ago I found a company that supplies the printing equipment and ink for printing T-shirts. Perhaps this is what Dr. Bernard meant by a cross road, where an opportunity lies at the junction. Opportunity is often disguised as a problem. Face it. Walk through it. We reached Ron Wesley's warehouse. What an eye opener. I watched eagerly as he steered the elevator. The elevator then rose to 9 metres in height. We bent down as the elevator almost touched the ceiling. It's amazing how a machine only 3 metres tall can hide so much of its enormous interior. Sometimes humans work the other way round. Waiter tested whether my pickup can fit the elevator. It turned out that Ron Wesley intends to buy a vehicle for his company. I asked what is the name of Ron Wesley's company name. Champion.

Posted by Benjamin at 2:25 AM

Monday, August 13, 2007

Let There Be Light (Rascal's First Morning)

I throw myself out of bed. For the first time since a long time. I need to tell my parents about this new member of the family before they get bitten. They look at the dog and smile. Adorability 200%. Simply irresistable. Check the floor. Toilet-trained. I teach him to respond to clicks. Not gifted. I mean I am not gifted as a dog trainer. As I leave the house I worry that something may happen to the dog. I can see it dying of hunger and thirst. I can see it climbing out of the window. I can see strangers taking it away. I can see my sister-in-law's students torturing it. I can see it crying in loneliness. I call my maid and give her instructions as a precaution.

Posted by Benjamin at 7:38 AM

Sunday, August 12, 2007

Rascal

At Pussy Thadd's house for tuition. His mum asked excitedly whether I want to rear another dog. A Jack Russell. Wow. Ever since I watched the movie The Mask, I desire to own a Jack Russell from the bottom of my heart. Pussy Thadd's cousin Wailing said that her mum wanted Rascal out of her house by today. Jack Russells are hunters of the wild. A hyperactive lot. She cannot stand its high enthusiasm and activeness. I picked up Rascal at Changi. An adorable little puppy. It hugged my leg and looked at me with its soulful eyes. Love at first sight. Then it bit my leg. Real hard. I realised it has teeth. Sharp teeth. There is another problem. She hopes that I can return Rascal to her after six months once she finds a place to stay. I understand that love is not about ownership. We agreed to give Rascal six months time to adjust to its new home before we decide what to do next. As I drove away from Wailing's house, Rascal kept on looking out of the same car window where its previous owner disappeared. What a faithful dog! By the time we reached home, it seemed to have forgotten about its previous owner. What a forgetful dog!

Posted by Benjamin at 1:13 AM

Saturday, August 11, 2007

Building Fund

I am amazed by the powerful force behind the building fund. My family has experienced breakthroughs after breakthroughs. I ask God to let my parents live their life in good health, in prosperity, in happiness, and to the fullest. My mum has found exponential increase in her income due to the booming economy and stock market. In almost every week, she tells me that she's earning big money. My eldest sister-in-law used to be barren. Countless disappointments. My parents almost think that they are not going to expect any grandchild from them. My eldest brother decided that they will adopt a child and went through the procedure of adoption Just when we are expecting a nephew, my sister-in-law gets pregnant with a baby. That means my parents are now expecting two grandchilds at the same time! Miraculous. My second brother used to avoid my parents because he thought that they are money-minded and despised him because he was poor (note the past tense). He didn't even bother to call upon them during any special days like their birthdays, Father's Day or Mother's Day. He didn't allow my niece to stick with them, fearing that they will 'preach money' to her and influence her in a bad way. He didn't like to talk to my other brothers because he bore grudges on the perception that my parents are bias towards them. He used to be so busy with his work (also a tuition teacher) that he neglected his family. Now he calls my parents often (my mother in particular to give her tips on potential stocks), gave fat red packets to them on their birthdays, offers to treat us for dinner and even gave me a birthday present for the first time in a decade. All thanks to his new girlfriend who takes care of all these things for him. He finds an alternative income as an investor of stocks, and is rumoured to earn in the stock market as much as he did as a tuition teacher. That is like... a lot lol. My third brother hit a dead end in his career two years ago.He then found a business opportunity as a garang guni. Do you believe that a garang guni can earn more than S$20,000 a month? Nothing's impossible with God! As for me, I am starting a new business. Although it is not as profitable as my brothers', it is a growing business. I believe that God will not do anything less for me since I am the one who prayed and gave the building fund. *evil laughter*

Posted by Benjamin at 12:17 PM

Friday, August 10, 2007

Standing Lamp

Have to help Superman transport a standing lamp to his house at 10 pm (irony giddit giddit). I don't like Sengkang de leh. Never manage to find my way to anywhere. I drove for 45 minutes before I found the place. Gecko Superman told me his car can fit the 2 metres long standing lamp. A simple reason: it can be dismantled. Sianz. I can do a lot of things in 1 hour. If he is not a man of steel I would have plant a bomb on him. But Wonder Woman is also there. Two against one. Superman + Wonder Woman against Bomberben. The odds is not on my side. I told myself to think on the bright side. At least I can go home earlier.

Posted by Benjamin at 11:35 PM

Monday, August 6, 2007

Collection & Delivery

Woke up late again. I was supposed to reach Superman's house at 8:30 am. Went to suppliers to collect goods. We bought 1200 screws! Damn screwed right. After that, we drove to Balestier to collect a dining table. Superman bought it for our home office. S$500. On eBay. His sister-in-law M got him to take part in a competition organised by eBay. The home office concept is accepted and he is entitled to spend S$3000 on eBay to change the outlook of his room! Very blessed right. Very hungry the whole day. But there was no time to eat today. I had to deliver the goods by 5 pm. We missed out an item for one of our customers. Gotta deliver again tomorrow. Sianz.

Posted by Benjamin at 11:00 PM

Hello Kitty Uno

I wanted to watch the movie Alone with my choir friends today. But there was no movie casting after 10 pm. Sad. The same director as Shutter leh! I organised supper instead. Meeting 10:30 pm at Arab Street opposite Concourse. After tuition, I rushed home to eat dinner. University cooked already... bo bian. Turn out she made me spaghetti. Sianz. At this point of time my saviour sent me a sms! 无敌 suggested dinner at Taiwan 白痴 @ Bugis. Wow. Chucked the spaghetti in the fridge. Flew down to Bugis. Damn hungry. Didn't watch the road signs. Lost my way. Reached the place. Ate beef noodles, pork chop and water leg. I recommended dessert at Liang Seah Street. Ice mango juice + pamelo + ice cream. Red bean paste. Waiter was really funny with his camera man act. I secretly took it down on video (cannot put on YouTube... copyright reserved by Waiter =p). We then went to an Arabian cafe called Samar. I remembered the name of the cafe because it reminds me of You-Know-Who. Trust No Big to suggest it. Arabian drinks. Arabian music. Arabian waiter (actually he's just dark-skinned). Guess what we played under such a unique ambience? Hello Kitty Uno! Last card must say Uno Kitty. End game must say Hello Kitty game. Trust Hello Kitty to think of it. Played until 2:30 am. Dead beat. zzz.

Posted by Benjamin at 9:58 AM

Thursday, August 2, 2007

Fernandez Liquor

I was sourcing for suppliers when I saw this. Tribute to Bimbo!

Posted by Benjamin at 11:34 PM

Wireless

Posted by Benjamin at 1:10 PM

Wednesday, August 1, 2007

Prata Night

I went to eat prata for supper at The Cheese Prata Shop @ somewhere-near-NUS with Leen Pork and Sponge Box. I don't know this shop sells such a wide variety of prata. Wasted my 3 years in NUS. I don't even know a double egg prata exist in this world. I ordered mushroom prata. I love mushrooms! But it turned out that what you see is what you get: prata + mushroom. Period. Leen Pork and Sponge Box ate so much people almost thought they came back from Africa or something. Damn porky leh (tributed to Leen Pork, who taught me my lousy adjective =p). You can't imagine how thick and tasty the kambing soup was. It was as though the sheep was squeezed alive and minced into pieces, and the juice was mixed with blood and urine. No offence. Just crapping. The soup was simply thick and tasty. Period. Then this Jasmine Lye-looked-alike came. Got a shock of my life. I thought Leen Pork knew her. But her name is Michelle (not another Rubber Biakky hor). She brought her friend Gabriel (not the angel). I know this is getting lame but...

It's my blog and I'm
lame if I want to x3

Pastor Kong sang this during service (but not this version lah!), so I guess I'm entitled to sing this too. Anyway.

Leen Pork was weird de. Other than the non-stop shooting of n*** s*** (censored to protect animal rights), she laughed at jokes that doesn't require any brain effort. You can call them brainless jokes bah. She dropped her prata on the table and frantically throw them back on the plate with her fork and spoon. You should see the look on her face. Damn joker. Sponge Box almost dropped his whole plate of prata on his stomach. The plate simply bounced back onto the table. Miraculous. Leen Pork and Jasmine Junior kept on bickering over God-knows-what. Girls. Quoting Jesus' words: God, how long must I bear with them?

Posted by Benjamin at 12:42 PM

Happy Day

Happy Day:

He taught me how
To watch
Fight and pray x 2

And we rejoice
In Him
Everyday x 2

Smart Alec, San Francisco, JJJJJJ, Rejoyce, Sofierce, Waiter and I sang this song as a demostration for the choir members. Turn out alright, except that I forgot not to sing one of the notes. I always have this weakness: My mind will turn blank when I am singing to a crowd. Sometimes when I think back, I didn't even know what I was singing. The words just came out like a Merlion spitting water. Nervous freak de leh. Bel was right. I already know how to sing the song. All I need is to deliver it to the people. Rejoyce (dedicated to Joyce, who sent me the lyrics via sms =p)!

Posted by Benjamin at 12:32 PM

mind your own business

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