Saturday, June 2, 2007
Defeated
I feel lousy today. Firstly, I think I am not a good tuition teacher. Most of my students scored badly like nobody's business. I feel I wasted my students' time and money. I always thought I am a good tutor. I have spent fours years of my life making notes, reading textbooks and getting examination papers for them. Now I realise all these doesn't work. More important is whether they place a value in what you teach. 2004 was a good year. None of my students scored lower than B3 for their 'O' level examinations. Anthony remembered me until now because I answered a question on relative velocity on the eve of his examination and it came out the next day. He got an A1. 2005 was a good year. Phay's physics grade improved from F9 to A2. He thanked me for helping him and even blamed himself for not working hard enough. He also apologised for disappointing me. Last year was the best. Gabriel got a book prize for his 'O' level chemistry examination. I felt so comforted when he told me that I was the best tutor he ever had. Natalie scored more than 90 % for both her chemistry and physics examinations, even though I taught her only for 6 lessons. This year, I think I need to change my teaching method, or change my job. Secondly, I feel so incompetent as a choir vocal IC. I was asked to lead warm up for the choir. I stunned. I don't know how to start. I was asked how to sing the new songs. I don't know how. I didn't come for the previous services. I was told to dress well for choir. Justin said that my dressing was too plain. Annabel said that it was too casual. I saw Alec and Victor, my fellow vocal ICs, walking around with responsibilities at hand. I stood on stage like any other choir member. I guess being a choir vocal IC is not just about being good at singing. I need to grow.
Posted by Benjamin at 7:30 PM